What is Squalor

Messiness, clutter, disorganization, hoarding....squalor.

I found an interesting website that I thought might make you sit up and think. Here is a list of some thoughts from people on their definition of "squalor".

Defining squalor

It can be found in suburbia, high rises, rural dwellings, mansions, and trailer parks. What is our current understanding of squalor? What IS squalor?

Squalor is...

• Always being late to everything because I can't find clean socks or underwear, can't find the top that I want to wear with a particular pair of pants, can't find my shoes, or my keys, etc.... 
• Anger.
• A bare-bones confession that opens up great dialog among down-to-earth (i.e, REAL) people from all walks of life. 
• CHAOS.
• Cold and unwelcoming 
• Cringing when there's a knock at the door. 
• Depression made visible. 
• Despair. 
• Destruction of things that you used to put so much value in. 
• Dirty, perishable, wet or smelly--something to do with actual decay or built-up hard-to-remove sludge. 
• Dreading opening the front door because it doesn't feel like home. It isn't a place where you relax.  It's where you hide. 
• Embarrassment. 
• Everyday the Fear I will go back to squalor. 
• Far too many objects taking the place of memories. 
• Fear. 
• The fear I am going crazy because now I can NOT quit cleaning my house. I have become obscessed by the squalor I was in, into becoming a clean freak. There seems to be no happy medium for me. 
• The fear of the knowledge I am screwed up and do not know how to fix it and become normal again 
• Filling my brain with pesky little stuff so I don't have to deal with things that are important.
• Frenzied and hostile - the opposites of calm and peaceful. 
• Giving me lots of excuses. 
• Going to extreme lengths to make sure no one gets the bright idea to pay you a surprise visit.
• Having great balance because you've learned to dance over heaps of stuff. 
  
• Imprisonment.
• A "keep away" sign.  It tells the world I'm afraid or unworthy, so please don't trespass.
• Knowing you can always stash the dirty dishes in the oven or a box if you are expecting company because washing every dish you own would take 4 hours. 
  
  • Finding the box of dishes a year later and forgetting you ever owned them! 
• Knowing that water becomes stagnant when it sits. 
• Looking around & being horrified that everything is cluttered or needs cleaning or some sort of attention—and it's gonna be me.
• Looking at "The pile," knowing it's destroying your life, and doing nothing but shifting it around. 
• Loud. The visual noise of it can be deafening.
• Not being at home in your home. 
• Not enough space for the things we feel we must keep. 
• Not knowing how much is enough . 
• Not home. It's a house filled with stuff and grime. 
• OVERWHELMING. 
• Pain and fear. 
• The pain I caused my friends and family denying them access to me as a person by keeping them out of my house. I can never go back and undo that. 
• The pain I have now because I cannot visit my Mom because of her squalor.
• The pain of denying myself children because I was afraid I would do to them what my parents did to me being raised in squalor.
• Picking a few items out of the pile labeled Mount Washme so you can have clean clothes for at least the next day.
  • Picking a few items out of the laundry pile and sniffing to see if it's wearable.
• The result of countless small acts of self-neglect. 
• Socially incorrect.
• A state of impoverishment. 
• Suffocating under a stack of something.
• Unnecessary mess. 
• A visual expression of pain. 
• A visual representation of emotional distress and a symptom of deeper problems 
• Walking down the street catching glimpses into other people's windows and wishing you had a home like theirs.

 (posted on www.squalorsurvisors.com)

Clutter causes many feelings.....

It takes a willingness to change to start the process to recovery.


Organizational Consulting Services

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Stuff - Why Do We Have It?

People keep asking me - "how much stuff can I have?".  "What is too much?".

The answer is - "you can have as much stuff as you want - if you have the room - if you can afford it and it does not negatively impact your life or your families life - and if it's organized or contained so that it does not negatively impact your life or safety".

That's the quick and easy answer.

Then it gets more complicated.

Why do you have all of the stuff?  Why do you need all of the stuff?

Are you compensating for something?

Can you just not let go?  Why not?

Does the stuff make you happy?  Or does it make you sad?  Does it remind you of things you would rather not be reminded of - but can't let it go?

Or do you just not have the time or energy to get rid of the stuff?

It's your stuff - it's your choice.  No one can or should make you get rid of it.

Unless.....

It's causing a health and safety risk.

Stuff - causes complications.

Think about why you have it and why you can't let go.

It's a very complex issue.



Organizational Consulting Services

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A Good Reason for Clutter

It's been a great week - not! We had a pipe leak and water everywhere. The pipe was in a storage crawl space that we rarely go into. Thank goodness we happened to go into the space to get something.

Everything was soaking wet. Who knows how long the leak was going. Luckily most of our things were packed in plastic storage bins. Except of course one huge box - which was so wet it literally fell apart when I touched it. Inside the box most things were o.k. - except the nativity set which was in another box that was also soaking wet.

After removing most of the bins in the crawl space we got busy putting towels around the pipe and floor and calling the plumber.

It would be a long week before things were finally fixed.

In the meantime - let's just say that I had boxes in the hallway, the bedroom and office.  Stuff everywhere.

As a Professional Organizer I like things in their place - where I put them - not all over my house. But this was an instance where I had little control and - well - I had "clutter". 

I kept telling myself  "it's o.k. - stuff happens".  It will eventually work itself out and be back to the organized place that keeps me calm.

So - a good lesson was learned. Never put anything directly on the floor that might get wet. Place all boxes or bins at least a few inches off the ground. Especially if your room has a water pipe in it!

Remember - clutter happens to all of us - at one time or another.



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The Difference Between Clutter, Chronic Disorganization and Hoarding

Everyone has a different definition of clutter. To some people clutter is anything that is out of place.  If a coffee cup is left on the kitchen counter - it's clutter.  To other people, clutter means you can't walk through a room.  Everyone views clutter differently.

 

Just as the saying goes "one mans trash is another mans treasure". Some people would define that person as a hoarder.  

Who's right ?

According to the dictionary, clutter is a “confused or disorganized state or collection”. 

A confused state? Yes, you can have clutter of the mind. But most people think of clutter as just “stuff”. A collection of random objects scattered all over the place. That’s a nice and simple definition. It could just be that you hadn’t bothered to pick up after yourself and have stuff everywhere. 

Then we get to a more serious and a more cluttered situation and we could end up with chronic disorganization.

Chronic Disorganization also has a definition:

• Chronic disorganization is having a past history of disorganization in which self-help efforts to change have failed
• an undermining of current quality of life due to disorganization
• the expectation of future disorganization.

This means that you have been disorganized for many years. And it has started to affect your quality of life. You can’t find things. You are constantly late because you can’t find things. You are embarrassed by your mess.

It’s a little more than just basic clutter.

A person can be organized in one area of his life but not in another. They can be organized at work but be disorganized at home. They can be organized by how they manage their time but not with how they manage their stuff.

Then we go up another level and get to “hoarding”.

What exactly is “hoarding”? According to “Frost & Hartl’s (’96) definition of clinical hoarding:

1) the acquisition of, and failure to discard, a large number of possessions that appear to be useless or of limited value

2) living spaces sufficiently cluttered so as to preclude activities for which those spaces were designated

3) significant distress of impairment in functioning caused by the hoarding

Some people have an obsessive need to acquire things. They tend to develop an emotional attachment to things that many of us would consider trash.

Family and friends of hoarders don’t always understand that “hoarding” is an “illness” and that the hoarder needs professional help. They sometimes feel that by just going in and cleaning out the house (sometimes even when the hoarder doesn’t know that they are going to do it) that everything will be “o.k.”.  Once the mess is gone, problem solved. But that can actually make it worse.

Hoarding is a complex issue. An issue that there might not be a cure for.

 "According to the definition established in the new version of  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - (DSM 5), released in 2013, people with hoarding disorder have a conscious, ongoing urge to accumulate possessions, as well as corresponding feelings of anxiety or mental anguish whenever those possessions get thrown away".

It’s a problem that many people won’t admit they have and one that might cost them their family or even their life.

A problem that is more common than you think.

Organizational Consulting Services

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Another Year ....How Did You Do ?

The year is almost over. I hope that your Holidays were good, not too stressful and filled with family and lots of great desserts!

Now is the time to reflect on the year gone by and what you've accomplished. Did you get everything done that you wanted to?  If not, why not?  I'm sure there are many excuses - some good and some are just excuses.

It's been a really difficult year for us. The loss of numerous family members and friends and therefore some of the things I would have liked to accomplish - well - I just didn't. And that's o.k.  Sometimes you need to take time to step back and just catch your breath.

"Situational disorganization"  happens to all of us. Even the most organized person has a right to "do nothing" and let life happen. Without everything being perfectly in place.

But there comes a time when you have to take back control of your life and pick up your clutter and get your house in order. Sometimes manual labor is the best medicine there is.

Put your house in order. Put everything back where it belongs. Get rid of the clutter and see how much better you feel in a clean and organized space.

Sometimes organization is all the therapy you need.

Look back at your year and think about how you would like to make the next year better.

One small step at a time.

Let's close 2013 with a look at a better 2014.

Happy Organizing !

Organizational Consulting Services

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Hoarding - the Aftermath

Hoarding is a very serious and devastating situation. It is emotionally draining. For the Professional Organizers that work with Hoarding clients it is unlike what you see on the T.V. shows. It is much more personal and more devastating.

Sometimes clients come into your life and make an impact that you never expected. One such client of mine was a hoarder.  As with most hoarders Professional Organizers usually know to expect the worst. My client was a wonderful, highly educated woman with a problem. A problem that I always suspected would eventually lead to her death.

But - she was lucky. As I had anticipated a fire did break out in her home but she was pulled out of her house by some neighbors and she survived. Not without extensive physical damage. But she survived.

The fire did finally force her out of her home and she is now living in a nursing home where she is getting the treatment she deserves.

Not everyone is so lucky.

Hoarding is a serious problem.

Read some of the stories from the past:

Langley Collyer

He lived with his brother, Homer, who was blind and paralyzed, in a three story mansion in New York.

It was filled from floor to ceiling with newspapers, boxes, barrels, crates and 10 grand pianos.

On March 21, 1947, the New York police received a tip that there was a dead body in the house. They broke down the front door but couldn’t get in because of all of the stuff.

They climbed in through a second story window and found Homer, dead. He had died of a heart attack.

The house was a maze of nests & tunnels and was booby trapped. There were trip wires that would bring down debris on any intruders.

Workers cut through the roof and lifted out 136 tons of junk.

After 18 days they found the body of Langley Collyer who had been dead for weeks.

It appeared that he had been crawling through a tunnel to deliver dinner to his brother when he triggered one of his own booby traps and suffocated. Homer had then starved to death.

What was salvageable from the tons of junk that had been collected, sold for less than $ 2,000 at auction. The house, condemned as a health and fire hazard, was razed. Today it is a parking lot.

Grey Gardens

In the early 1970s, two women related to Jackie Onassis were the subjects of the critically acclaimed documentary, Grey Gardens, about eccentric behavior. The women, Edith Bouvier Beale and her mother, Edith Ewing Bouvier, were former New York socialites who spent their days holed up in a decrepit East Hampton mansion.

When the Suffolk County Board of Health raided their house, they found piles upon piles of garbage amid human and animal waste. It was said that only three of the mansion’s 28 rooms were used, while the others were occupied by hundreds of cats, possums and raccoons.

When word of the deplorable conditions got o Jackie-O, she and her then-husband Aristotle Onassis paid $32,000 to clean the house, install a new furnace and plumbing system, and cart away 1,000 bags of garbage.

Organizational Consulting Services

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Clutter - Chronic Disorganization - Hoarding

Everyone has a different definition of clutter. To some people clutter is anything that is out of place.  If a coffee cup is left on the kitchen counter - it's clutter.  To other people, clutter means you can't walk through a room.  Everyone views clutter differently.

 

Just as the saying goes "one mans trash is another mans treasure. Or some people would define that person as a hoarder.  

Who's right ?

According to the dictionary, clutter is a “confused or disorganized state or collection”. 

A confused state? Yes, you can have clutter of the mind. But most people think of clutter as just “stuff”. A collection of random objects scattered all over the place. That’s a nice and simple definition. It could just be that you hadn’t bothered to pick up after yourself and have stuff everywhere. 

Then we get to a more serious and a more cluttered situation and we could end up with chronic disorganization.

Chronic Disorganization also has a definition:

• Chronic disorganization is having a past history of disorganization in which self-help efforts to change have failed
• an undermining of current quality of life due to disorganization
• the expectation of future disorganization.

This means that you have been disorganized for many years. And it has started to affect your quality of life. You can’t find things. You are constantly late because you can’t find things. You are embarrassed by your mess.

It’s a little more than just basic clutter.

A person can be organized in one area of his life but not in another. They can be organized at work but be disorganized at home. They can be organized by how they manage their time but not with how they manage their stuff.

Then we go up another level and get to “hoarding”.

What exactly is “hoarding”? According to “Frost & Hartl’s (’96) definition of clinical hoarding:

1) the acquisition of, and failure to discard, a large number of possessions that appear to be useless or of limited value

2) living spaces sufficiently cluttered so as to preclude activities for which those spaces were designated

3) significant distress of impairment in functioning caused by the hoarding

Some people have an obsessive need to acquire things. They tend to develop an emotional attachment to things that many of us would consider trash.

Family and friends of hoarders don’t always understand that “hoarding” is an “illness” and that the hoarder needs professional help. They sometimes feel that by just going in and cleaning out the house (sometimes even when the hoarder doesn’t know that they are going to do it) that everything will be “o.k.”.  Once the mess is gone, problem solved. But that can actually make it worse.

Hoarding is a complex issue. An issue that not even the mental health community can agree on. An issue that there might not be a cure for.

It’s a problem that many people won’t admit they have and one that might cost them their family or even their life.

A problem that is more common than you think.

Organizational Consulting Services

www.organizationalconsultingservices.com

Stress and Lack of Organization

It seems that every day I hear people tell me that they are totally stressed out by their situation. Too much clutter, can't find things, embarrassed to have people over, feeling totally out of control.

And I say to them "take a deep breath, this is normal". The feelings I mean. Most clients that I have call me up or email me and I hear the same stories. They are at the end of their rope and they want help and want everything to be perfect. Now.

So I keep telling everyone "your feelings are normal, you are not alone, don't be embarrassed by your clutter and step back, breathe and let's take it slow".

Things didn't get this way overnight and they won't get fixed in a day. It's not only about all of the stuff, it's about a skill that wasn't learned and the way you were brought up. It's about environment and so much more.

And of course now that the holidays are near everyone wants everything to be perfect and the normal holiday stress is adding more stress to the mix.

But, at the same time, people are starting to realize that clutter and chronic disorganization does cause stress. And that's a big step in the learning process.

The next step is doing something to change your behavior and the way you live your life. And that's a really big step. It takes time. Time to learn new ways of doing things. And new things are always a bit uncomfortable. By realizing and accepting the fact that you are stepping into unkown territory and will be leaving your comfort zone you have taken another step into becoming more organized.

Baby steps. One thing at a time. Don't think that you are going to be just like one of the T.V. shows and your house and life will be totally transformed in one hour. It won't be. So don't set yourself up for disappointment. Learn to accept and appreciate the small steps and know that you are starting on your way to being more organized and will eventually get there.

But don't stress yourself out in the process and understand that it is a process. And it's a process that will take time. But it's a process that is worth going through.

Being organized will make you feel better and you will have more time to do the things that are really important.

Just take it one step at a time.

Remember: Less Clutter = Less Stress ^SM in your home, your business and your life



Organizational Consulting Services

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The Cost of Disorganization

A lot of people don't realize that being "disorganized" costs them money. A lot of money.

Being organized is not only about everything "having a place" and "being in its' place", it's also a way of life.

When you are organized things run smoother. You know where everything is. You aren't searching for things. You get to work on time because your briefcase and keys are where they are supposed to be and you have left plenty of time for unexpected emergencies, like traffic jams.

But, when you are not organized you tend to be frantic. You are constantly searching for missing items. You then go to the store to buy items that you don't think you have. But then, someday, you run across that missing item. So you have just spent money on something that you really didn't need, because you really did have it.

If you do simple things like "put like items with like items" you will always know where things are. If you simply hang all of your "blue shirts" together you can easily find them when you need them. You will also be able to tell at a glance that you don't have a "blue shirt" when you need it.

By putting all of your "like" canned goods together you know exactly how many cans of "baked beans" you have, instead of buying more cans of things that you don't really need.

Constantly buying things that you really don't need because you already have it is just one "cost of disorganization".

Being late for work or a meeting and getting fired is another.

Not turning in a report at school and getting a failing grade is another.

Disorganization disrupts your life. It causes stress.

Take ten or fifteen minutes a day and get yourself organized.

You will feel better. Really you will.


Remember: Less Clutter = Less Stress .... in your Home, your Business and your Life

Organizational Consulting Services

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Chronic Disorganization in Families

I have been getting a lot of calls from people lately telling me that they have a family member that is disorganized and that it is affecting the entire family.

They are frustrated and feel helpless. They don't know what to do or where to start. They want their home and their life to be "normal". They don't want to live in chaos.

But the family member thinks that they don't have a problem. Or the family member thinks that the person with the chronic disorganization issues could change if they wanted to and they are just lazy. Or the family member thinks that if the other people in the house would just get rid of the "clutter" then everything will be "all right".

None of those are true. Chronic Disorganization is a serious issue. It obviously affects the entire family or their would not be arguments and I would not hear from people complaining about their families.

Being disorganized affects not only the disorganized person but also everyone around them (family and co-workers). Unless you live alone it's not only one persons problem but it's a family problem. And the entire family has to be on the same page as how to fix (or try to start fixing) the problem.

It's not easy. The first step is to admit that there is a problem. Yes, it's just like all of those other "programs". You have to admit there is a problem. Sometimes there even needs to be an intervention.

As a Professional Organizer it is very hard to work with one person in a family if the other family members (or spouse) objects to the organizer being there. If they put the other person down or are negative (to the family member or organizer) then it makes the process of organizing or teaching organizational skills or making changes in the home almost impossible.

If chronic disorganization affects your life to the point where you are miserable or you are making your family miserable ...then it's time to take the first step in getting help. Whether it's working with a Professional Organizer or seeing a therapist...you need to be comfortable in taking that first step.

Chronic Disorganization is a complicated issue. Once you understand that and are ready to learn how to get your life and home back on track you will be much happier.

A Professional Organizer does not judge. They will teach you skills that you can use for the rest of your life. They are supportive and caring. They understand that not everyone can be as organized as they are and they will not expect you to be. They will help get you to an organized place that you are comfortable in. They will help you set up systems that you can maintain. Because if it's too complicated and you cannot maintain it then you will be right back where you started.

Take things one step at a time. Decide that you or your family need help and direction and take the course that's right for you. With the right person.

Chronic Disorganization does not have to own you.


Organizational Consulting Services

www.organizationalconsultingservices.com

The Difference Between Chronic Disorganization and Hoarding

Hoarding is a hot topic. But a lot of people confuse clutter and disorganization with hoarding. I‘ve had some clients think they were hoarders when in reality they just had a cluttered and disorganized house.

So what is the difference? 

According to the dictionary, clutter is a “confused or disorganized state or collection”. 

A confused state? Yes, you can have clutter of the mind. But most people think of clutter as just “stuff”. A collection of random objects scattered all over the place. That’s a nice and simple definition. It could just be that you hadn’t bothered to pick up after yourself and have stuff everywhere. 

Then we get to a more serious and a more cluttered situation and we could end up with chronic disorganization.

Chronic Disorganization also has a definition:

• Chronic disorganization is having a past history of disorganization in which self-help efforts to change have failed
• an undermining of current quality of life due to disorganization
• the expectation of future disorganization.

This means that you have been disorganized for many years. And it has started to affect your quality of life. You can’t find things. You are constantly late because you can’t find things. You are embarrassed by your mess. It’s a little more than just basic clutter.

A person can be organized in one area of his life but not in another. They can be organized at work but be disorganized at home. They can be organized by how they manage their time but not with how they manage their stuff.

Then we go up another level and get to “hoarding”.

What exactly is “hoarding”? According to “Frost & Hartl’s (’96) definition of clinical hoarding:

1) the acquisition of, and failure to discard, a large number of possessions that appear to be useless or of limited value

2) living spaces sufficiently cluttered so as to preclude activities for which those spaces were designated

3) significant distress of impairment in functioning caused by the hoarding

Some people have an obsessive need to acquire things. They tend to develop an emotional attachment to things that many of us would consider trash.

Family and friends of hoarders don’t always understand that “hoarding” is an “illness” and that the hoarder needs professional help. They sometimes feel that by just going in and cleaning out the house (sometimes even when the hoarder doesn’t know that they are going to do it) that everything will be “o.k.”. Once the mess is gone. Problem solved. But that can actually make it worse.

Hoarding is a complex issue. An issue that not even the mental health community can agree on. An issue that there might not be a cure for.

It’s a problem that many people won’t admit they have and one that might cost them their family or even their life.

A problem that is more common than you think.

Organizational Consulting Services

www.organizationalconsultingservices.com